Thoughts within my Head: They sometimes ruin me

Always the same old story...see someone...like someone...build them up to be more than they are...and then feel frustrated later. So please, get these thoughts out of my mind. Because what I want now, I fear I cannot have. But it's the fear that has not yet scared me away, but a fear that I want to face. Their on and off again mood towards me, makes them the hardest to read.

All I need is for one person to realize that I'm here willing to make them the happiest they have ever been. I always seem to hope that the ones that I like, will be that one person to realize this. Until then, it's their loss.

I feel so close to being done trying to make something out of nothing and my imagination that may be imagining somethere that really doesn't exist.

Thoughts of my Day

Sometimes I wish things were easier. I wish things were more comfortable for me, or that I'm more readily comfortable being uncomfortable. I wish it was easier for me to face my fears as they come. I wish it wasn't so easy to get under my skin. For the little petty things to not blow up in my mind as more substantial things. I wish life itself were easier. But if that's the case, then we'd all be lazy and do absolutely nothing to prove ourselves. I often think of things that, if I could back in time and change it, I would. I shouldn't feel as though I have regret and more regret building up inside of me. I find that I'm more paranoid than I am confident. I am more self-assured then I am vulnerable...but with that I am more naive than I am self-assured. I still have more growing to do, but I feel as if my time is short. I sometimes feel that I should already be who I should be for the better half of my life, but I know Life's Lessons will continue to come at me in full force. For after I live this life, I am determined to leave this place a better one, and knowing that I have done all that I could to have made this life amazing.