Decisions, Decisions

Decisions, decisions...I find that I have the hardest time making them when they're not just clean cut and simple. There's one decision that I feel is super important and I'll probably need to make up my mind about it in a couple weeks.

In the beginning the answer was so clear to me. What my decision would be. And now as time goes on and little things change, my mind becomes convoluted with self-doubt, fear, and confusion. I've asked all everyone I could think of about it, but I believe I'm asking the wrong people. Who should I work with? What sport should I work with? Will I even get the sports I want? Am I even good enough to work with this sport? All these questions and I have no clear cut answer to them. It mostly stems from my lack of confidence. The I don't knows, the maybes, the what ifs. All these questions that transpire from other questions. All I need is one good answer.

I've been trying to figure out this decision for almost a month now, but never has it weighed heavier in my mind than now. To experience different things at a different setting. Knowing that within my profession, you need to be comfortable being uncomfortable, but at the same time...I'd like to be somewhere that I can at least enjoy being uncomfortable! Where the positives outweighs that uncomfort so much so that it becomes a minute problem. It's like a burden has decided to make it's home on my shoulders, and just continue to grow. People outside of this program may not understand it, people may not understand why it weighs so heavy...but I do. Quite frankly...it's winning.

I sometimes wish it was already made for me. So time will tell. A day will come where I write down six sports/venues/ACI's and I'll have to wait to see which I get. All I need to figure out now is what to write.