Stop Bugging Me!!

I've heard it been said, that if some people can bother you with their actions, or get to you...then they have power over you. I suppose it's true, and it truly makes me feel sick to my stomach to know that these two people (in particular) have that power over me. I guess you can call me an old grandma (mind you i'm almost 24) but I feel that these two people bother me the most!

One: Just act your age...maybe I shouldn't quite say that because maybe that's how people your age act. It's simple. There are things that shouldn't be said, things that can be said outside of certain areas. It bothers me so much that you come off as cocky, but you clearly mistaken it for confidence. I appreciate confident people, but cocky people, I can't stand them. You're not that amazing. But if you blowing your own head up is what it takes to fake your confidence, then fine. You will get no confidence boosters from me. I feel like you put on a front, and honestly, I appreciate real people. I've seen how you are one on one, and maybe that's just a front, and this "front" that I think you wear every day is really who you are. I feel ashamed to have thought so highly of you. But you have lost my respect a long time ago. Not that my respect means anything more than someone else's. It's sad that I can't stand looking at your face, hear your voice, and try and act friendly to you. But I will. Does this make me a hypocrite to my own views? Possibly. But I want my power back...I want you to not bug me so much. Thus...I must learn to simply just ignore what you do. It's obvious you aren't growing up any time soon.

Two: Sadly I thought I could look up to you. That I could work with you...but obviously I can't. I can see your condescending looks, your judgemental ways, and your need for constant drama. It's sickening. You are suppose to be the one higher up...you are supposed to be the "grown-up." Yet, if things don't go your way, you blame someone else. You never see your way as the wrong way. I, and I feel others, will appreciate you so much more, if you admit your wrongs and apologize. But you brush it off as some joke, as something that never happened. It's ok to be wrong! You will learn thereafter to become right. I'm in a world of judgement, and you are there judging me. Sadly, you will never get to know the REAL me. You are superficial in your ways, and thus I see your superficially. I can see you are so thirsty to be under the spotlight. To be the keynote speaker. And when people decide to turn your light off, or replace you, you become defensive, angry, annoyed, and it shows. Thus, whilst others read off of your expressions, what you have brought forward, we are now pushing back. I cannot respect you. You have lost most of the that. But! I will respect you when I can feel/tell you're respecting me. You don't have to like me, it's obvious you have already developed a preconceived notion about who I am. It's obvious you THINK you know me. Yet, you do not know any part of me. Please learn to love yourself. Love yourself so that you can learn to love others instead of constantly judging them. I am doing the same as I type this. I am re-learning to love myself. If I love myself first, there can be no outsider that can bring me down, because I brought myself up. Please, grow up, get off your powertrips, and realize, that you and so many others...all wear pants...and they are all put on the same way. One leg at a time!

**Note: I realize I write this as if I KNOW everything about these two people. But I am well aware that I'm sure I've only scratched the surface of them. Who knows, maybe if I took the time to get to know them, I would realize that we're not that much different. I understand the hypocrisy that there exists hypocrisy within this. I will be the first to admit that. However, this is simply how I feel right now.